– Yumna Sadiq Hayat
Falling in love is a lot like…well, falling. You feel dizzy, a little lightheaded; you seem to be floating because floating is infinite times cooler than walking. Suddenly every Bryan Adams song seems to be written just for the two of you. The world seems a magical place, full of possibilities. You feel like you have finally found that ‘someone’ who gets you, their voice becomes your muse, their presence gives you hope.
Apparently, you can fall in love so quickly, that the speed would put Lamborghinis to shame. It takes a mere one-fifth of a second to fall in love. But wise men say, only fools rush in love. And you cannot argue with wise men because wisdom. You need to give some time to people, to figure out if they are actually worth your love and attention because let’s be honest ladies, I’d rather spend my time perfecting my winged eye-liner than putting up with someone who is too busy to return my phone calls, but has all the time in the world to update his Instagram. Nice. If he chooses his Instagram over me, I choose my winged eye liner over him because priorities.
Most realizations are harsh and realizing that the perfect person you are in love with is not so perfect is one of the harshest. Of course, we all have our shortcomings and relationships do involve some compromising (sometimes, a lot ) but there are certain things which can not, should not be compromised upon. Being in love with a wrong person can leave you with wounds that can take years and years to heal. Naturally, that person meant a lot to you, and it’s kind of difficult not to internalize a loved one’s opinions and views and hold them as your frame of reference. All the more reason for you to be selective.
Human beings cannot exist in isolation; we are gregarious by nature. Even those of us who sit in dimly lit rooms, eating cookies, would want someone to sit with us in the same dimly lit room (sharing cookies is optional.) But it is the kind of company which makes all the difference because when it comes down to it, you would choose loneliness over being hurt.
I have always felt that being in love kind of serves as Photoshop for Personalities. When you are in love, you do not want to take off the rose-tinted glasses and see the person for who they are, despite the red flags you have been spotting all along, despite the gut feelings you have been religiously ignoring. Finally when you decide to take off those rose-tinted glasses because they were such a faux-pas, you see the real picture. It is not a pretty picture, but you can always paint another one. But the paints you used for painting that picture, and the time and effort you spent painting that picture, when you see it all going down the drain, it hurts.
All’s not lost though. I believe that you always get something out from every situation. If you look hard enough, that is. What does not kill you, may or may not make you stronger, but is definitely going to make you wiser. All of us wish to have razor-cut-sharp-accurate-as-hell judgment skills, but life does not work that way. If someone gives you the vibes that they are not right for you, trust that feeling. You cannot scientifically prove vibes, but you cannot disprove them, either.