It’s All About You
– Aqsa Naeem
We crave for affection. We love to be noticed (in a good way). We, as humans, love interacting with people. Extrovert or introvert, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are recognized by your good qualities and strengths. Such attention and recognition is achieved from our peers and friends.
These buddies fill our lives with adventures and experiences that we might not find with just family interactions. But we can’t deny the fact that sometimes these friends of ours make us feel alienated. Sometimes, our tiniest of mistake, our little objection can put barriers and cracks in the friendship bonds. One crack after the other and our little island of friendship comes crumbling down.
If you are asking this question to yourself after a fight with one of your dearest friend, well you are the type to be intimidated easily. This type of people finds it hard to cope with such situations. They feel devastated and depressed after “the” fight and trust me; such feelings are inevitable for the likes of you and me.
Whose fault is it?
It’s normal for us to think that it’s our entire fault and If you go out for advices, people will tell you that “No, it’s not your fault” or that “those guys aren’t worth it to be your friend”.
But trust me when I say that the fault begins with us. Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you nice and easy.
When we are not sure about ourselves, we tend to look up to those around us. Giving someone else the right to explain how you think is exactly where the problem begins. This authoritative attitude of our peers gives them the confidence to speak in our place hence resulting in us, losing our ground. We compromise and submit to our peers and our own thoughts and opinions are discarded. This causes disruption in YOU. You can’t say “yes” because it would be against “you” but you can’t say “no” because that will against “them”. This causes a war inside.
How to avoid it
Now let’s go to the beginning of the beautiful relation, called friendship. This is the most important part, when it’s all new and fresh. There are some things that should be kept in mind:
- Setting boundaries: spell out your do’s and don’ts. Know what you what and how you want it. Keep in mind this is the time when someone is trying to figure you out. So reveal your limits for others to note.
- State your opinion: be firm on your beliefs. Be strict with yourself and respect your own opinion. Others will sure to follow.
- Be yourself: this is quite a cliché’ statement but seriously, just being who you are, is something important. Pretending to be someone else will put you in a tight spot in your later life. Whether it’s to look cool or to be accepted in the “Group”.
So the moral of the story is that it’s not about how cool you are or are you friends with the nerd of the class or the coolest gang in town. It’s about who you are,it’s about your happiness. It’s all about you!