– Yumna Sadiq Hayat
Reinforcement for Life: Yourself
Growing up, we are often told to be mindful of what we say to others; ‘choose your words carefully’, ‘watch your tone’, ‘show some respect’. We quickly learn that this is how we are supposed to interact with others around us. What nobody teaches us that the same rules apply, or should apply to when we are talking to ourselves, too.
Loving yourself and respecting yourself is forever laced with your self-esteem. I personally like to consider self-esteem as a tool which should always and forever be present in our survival kit. While it is lucky as lucky could be, to have family and friends who believe in you and bring out the best in you, there are going to be times in your life, when you are going to need yourself to be your Plan B and Plan C and quite possibly, even Plan D.
The reason why I say this is because you cannot carry other people and their faith (or lack of it) in you, with you, all the time. But you can carry yourself and your faith in yourself, with you, all the time. So, while others may think that that shade of lipstick is a complete hit and a miss on you, but you think that it would put Kylie Jenner to shame, then you wear that lipstick. If that cute guy in your class thinks that glasses do not suit you, tell him that they help you see better how full of crap he is. If scoring a 4.0 gpa would have solved real life problems, you would have had beaten yourself up for not having worked harder. If the ratio of your waist could determine your worth as a person, you would have sipped on green tea more, and less on soda.
This world is full of paradoxes; encourage being different, then make fun of them for being different. People will tell you how self-confidence is such an attractive personality trait, then ask you where you get it from, especially since you are not so good-looking? What I am trying to say is that you are never going to be good enough for someone else, but you can be more than enough, for yourself. If there is a thing such as being ‘the perfect human being’, then you can be it and still be criticized for it. ‘Look at her, being so perfect. Who does she think she is? Queen of the World?!’
I cannot stress upon how important I feel, it is, for people to be gentler with themselves, to be kinder to themselves. We all make bad moves, stupid decisions and this is life. There is no trick to never feeling bad for yourself ever again; you could be 78 years old and still feel bad for having accidentally crushed your equally old but gold husband’s glasses because you sat on them. Try practicing loving, accepting and forgiving yourself, so by the time you are 78 years old and accidentally destroy things, you know you are just being human.