Lessons to be learnt from Mann Mayal
– Khadeeja Rana
As the latest TV serial hits the charts, we cannot help but wonder about the many loopholes and plot fails this serial has to offer. Despite all its flaws, this serial makes us think about the brutal realities of our society. After a careful thought, I have come up with a few lessons I think each of us can gain something from.
- Don’t expect commitment from a guy who cannot stand up for you.
Like every naïve girl in love, Mannu pleaded Salu to embrace her feelings towards him and propose her but he was the all too realistic Pakistani guy, tied down by parental pressures and social class difference. *sigh* For the umpteenth time, if a guy is coward enough not to stand by your side, expecting commitment from him is plain foolish! Get out of your fantasy bubble, the sooner the better
- Education before marriage, always!
Desi parents seem to be in a hurry to marry off their daughters as soon as they hit 20. Its not like a train is leaving at 20, and after that they’ll miss it. Repeat after me: Marriage can wait, education cannot. A sound education brings far more security in a woman’s life than a marriage turning sour. In our heroine’s case, she is left at the mercy of her ex boyfriend solely because she doesn’t have a decent enough education to land herself a job to support her children. Speaking of which, I believe she could easily learn some skill (tailoring, makeup etc) but the writer just couldn’t see a woman stand on her own two feet!
- Do not chase after a man who is not over his ex.
Now this might seem insignificant, but a man who is still hooked to an ex is a huuuuuge warning sign. You cannot make somebody magically fall in love with you, no matter which demons you possess. Moreover, to make a guy get over his beloved, by having you around is just silly. Ever heard of rebound girl? Google it up! I’m sure NO girl wants to be a second priority. Moral of the story: Jeena is not the model here.
- There’s everything to lose and nothing to gain…
By staying in an abusive marriage with a gambler. Women choose to stay in a terrible marriage because (no points for guessing) kids. For the love of God, what makes you think the abusive father is going to be a good example for the children and staying away from him is worse? Women who think like that seriously need to have self-respect crash courses! Think woman think! Use that goddamn brain of yours.
- Deceiving your parents is always a bad idea
Hiding your marital miseries is a particular favorite among desi women. While it may be wise to keep your domestic issues in their place, a falling marriage should NOT be hidden. There is nothing to be ashamed of, if you are not able to make a relationship work. There is no shame in seeking divorce. Anybody who thinks otherwise should get themselves checked. Mannu kept on lying to her parents about her fairytale marriage and happily-ever after. Had she shared her problems with her parents, they might have been able to rescue her out of the mess. But no, she had to be the “good” daughter who would rather die than confide in her parents. Ironically, when a girl’s marriage falls apart, her parents are the first people to hear about it. Imagine how traumatizing it must be for them since they were kept in the dark.
- Don’t expect your grown son to learn
Mannu’s good for nothing parents-in-law expected her to fix their spoiled son. Somehow marriage is supposed to work wonders and make you a more obedient person. No. Just NO. You do not go around throwing your parental duties at other people. It was his parent’s duty to teach him good manners, hard work, sense of responsibility and respect. How can they have the audacity to ask his wife to turn him into a gentleman when they were never able to do so? Personalities are shaped in the first five years of life, not after you hit adulthood! Besides, the brittle egos of most Pakistani men would never let them learn anything from their “inferior” wives. Patriarchy y’know!